xRozezxDisenchantedx

it’s the important lessons i always seem to forget see, i remember a voice from back when i was a kid a friend secret-whisper, intense eyes telling me that if you wished for death in your sleep you’d never wake up because God would always give you what you want and maybe that’s why i never took more drastic steps into the great gaping arms of that abyss because all those late nights choking on stars, whispering makeitstopmakeitstopmakeit s t o p i expected release to be handed to me now i see that it’s something you must strive for muscle-memory practiced until it sticks while making sacrifices at the altar of Sylv

I'm still picking up shards of myself out of couch cushion cracks and cemetery sidewalks glittering angel dust powder ground pieces they're hiding in the recesses of my brain and prick my fingertips when I try to find them god, imagine what they would do to your hands your poetry molding ukulele picking hands they fit so nicely in mine today I smiled a mile wide I said I wouldn't do this but you bring the poet out of me your smile is poetry your tearstained eyes a melody I'd listen to forever and I don't write this for you or for them I write this for me because you make me want to write for myself for the sensation of words forming on my

i am not a robot i am flesh & bone & blood & cartilage & hair & teeth & claws & piss & sweat & beautiful brain matter beautiful microscopic cells beautiful my crooked teeth beautiful my body hair beautiful my too big ears my tits my tummy my toes my tattooed foot my inability to breathe, my fluttering heart i am not a robot i bleed and ache and there is no preprogramming no script only beautifully stuttered words beautifully unprepared beautifully flawed divine in the absence of perfection no right or wrong answer only Me only the words sat up at night and rehearsing, stapled to my tongue only bruised knuckles twisted feet stomping hea

When you stay awake on cold nights finger painting stars in the sky wishing against hope that you'll cut him from your ribcage and tear out his weeds so that flowers will grow— if only you could pin down this feeling as he pinned you, like a butterfly, dead against his wall. You pried his fingers from your wrists but couldn't erase his ice tongued whispers that claimed “little girl, you're all the world to me.” Those are the nights I wish I could drag him by his hair, out of your crack-skinned bones, wrap him up in pine branches and poems and set him ablaze to keep you warm. Darling, if I could, I'd paint all the sky for

you send my stuttering heart into races shattered grace is all I have left and it’s nowhere near enough to cover up the aching burn of  l o v e clenched teeth, clenched fists, clenched heart thrown against a wall where broken bottles meet broken spirits         [ you will see my head served up           a sacrament to their media           the last thing I ever want—           you’ll have to watch me fall ] oh, if I could stall my shaking hands my quaking bones my whispering lips reverently singing praises to the spaces between your shoulderblades, your crooked grin see, I’m constantly torn between slamming th

i. you learned to let go that night, when you clung from your fingertips world-heavy was the one word that pried them loose when you tumbled through that abyss you thought it aint getting worse than this at least it's over now at least I swallowed up the blackness that ate me from the inside-out maybe now they'll  c r y ii. you learned to let go that year, flung between worlds and days you never thought you'd see but you offered them your great Strip-Tease and embraced the word they gave you learned to let go that day, above the skyline seeing the cut cord in your brother's eyes when 'always gold' melted away and you smiled agains

nostalgia is a curse i've tried to cut from my ribcage i still see your face on cold september nights i've tried to make you leave all my stolen dreams i buried you in me swallowed every music note, every lie i buried the notebook in the sand today deep beneath the sea where the mountains will never reach it i thought about the nights i tried to hang myself with that locket as i tossed it to the waves i ripped your memories from my wall but the shaking girl within me still plays guitar chords for your fake fake fake fucking funeral that no one ever spoke at i suppress the shudders that come from the dead poets society and every time she s